During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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