her vagine was all disorganized.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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