Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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