I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
