You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
