just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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