There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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