Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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