I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
