If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
