love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
