for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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