the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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