And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
