My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
