what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
50% drunk capacity currently
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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