May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
they're like a gay fantastic four
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
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