I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Im part way to drunk.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
