He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
