yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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