I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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