Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I need water and some morals
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
