used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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