Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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