i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Randomize
