Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
