Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
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Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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