Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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