The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
