He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
