She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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