marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
