she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
