I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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