I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
