I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
