If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
