he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
either way he was missing a nipple.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
