I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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