I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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