He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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