so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
