If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Randomize
