You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
