K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
