Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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