I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
