there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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