it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I just want to make out with him forever
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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