We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
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