when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
