You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I've blown a few things in my day
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
