walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
