i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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