I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize