I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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