Fine. I'll sleep in my office
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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