Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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