I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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