Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
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